Lost For Words, We Go Simpsons

Since the Giants historic collapse on Sunday against the Kansas City Monarchs, I have found it difficult to write about this team with anything less than an apocalyptic tone - something I have attempted to avoid given the early feedback I received on the abundance of latent negativity in my posting.

So, I took a step back, but right when I was about to start feeling better about this current run of absolute incompetence, Bobblehead Bochy verbally craps on my brief moment of clarity:

When Ray Durham had to be the designated hitter in Kansas City on Saturday night because of an ankle injury, manager Bruce Bochy had a perfect opening to start either Emmanuel Burriss or Travis Denker at second base. Instead, he went with the more experienced Jose Castillo.

[Snip]

One thing is certain: Bochy likes Castillo, who has been a stabilizing defensive force and has 21 doubles, yet owns an unimpressive OPS of .727.

"He's got power. He's an intriguing player," Bochy said. "He runs fairly well. I think he has the tools to be an everyday player. Now, that's up to him. I think he's improved his work ethic since he's been here. I think he sees this as a great opportunity."

Could Castillo be a long-term solution at third base?

"He has shown how talented he could be if he plays every day," Bochy said. "I'd like to see what he's done at the end of the year."

And there goes my dwindling hope of any success for the next decade.

On the Plus Side

- Manny Burriss might be getting the call as soon as Omar Vizquel's ego gets stroked one last time in Cleveland.

- From within that piece, it looks like Barry Zito may be bringing back the once maligned Crouching Tiger mechanics.

Please, someone, somewhere, call Rick Peterson.

Meanwhile, 3-Dot Loser has a decent idea regarding the situation.

- Anyone remember that episode of the Simpsons where Homer unwittingly becomes head of the local nuclear power plant worker's union? The one where Lisa needs braces?

But, in a cruel twist of dramatic fate, Mr. Burns is simultaneously trying to screw the workers out of dental insurance in exchange for a keg.

Well, thanks to a Google, I can share the joy of it with all of you who don't:



There you go.

Well, my point (besides finding a reason to post one of the best Simpsons gags ever) is that I had a similar feeling as Homer today.

The first Giants-related article I read today filled me with bittersweet optimism. In detailing the Giants organization's bright future in terms of starting pitchers, Marc Hulet at The Baseball Analysts opened with this succinct diagnosis of our unbalanced system:

It is easy to knock the San Francisco Giants organization for being unable to produce a productive, everyday position player in... well, let's just say years. But a quick glance at the minor league system shows that there are some very impressive numbers being put up by some intriguing pitching prospects.

A few hours pass.

And then I stumble upon this article on the slightly better, if still maddening, Rangers franchise and the plight of rookie exec Nolan Ryan.

In some ways, the Rangers are on the same developmental curve as those scrappy Tampa Bay Rays. They can put a dynamic lineup on the field, but the young pitching has to catch up with the everyday talent. How close is Texas to making a run at its first postseason berth since 1999? That hinges in large part on whether Eric Hurley and former Braves prospect Matt Harrison continue to progress, Thomas Diamond makes a successful comeback from Tommy John surgery and 20-year-old Neftali Feliz is as dynamic as his numbers in Class A Clinton (93 strikeouts in 74 1/3 innings) suggest.

Although general manager Jon Daniels' moves have been hit-and-miss, the Texas organization is awash in position player prospects. First baseman Chris Davis leads the minors with 23 homers and 73 RBIs and is making a strong case for a call-up. Catcher Max Ramirez, acquired from Cleveland for Kenny Lofton last July, was hitting .363 with a .662 slugging percentage when the Rangers summoned him from Double-A Frisco on Saturday to replace the injured Gerald Laird.

Texas has a top young shortstop, Elvis Andrus, and an elite catching prospect, Taylor Teagarden, in the minors, and that doesn't factor in the rest of the haul that Daniels acquired in the Mark Teixeira and Eric Gagne trades last summer.

You see where I'm going with this?

Terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers; terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers; terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers; terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers; terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers; terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers; terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers; terrible offense, Rangers need pitchers.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to fish Carl's pencil out of my butt.